Somewhere in this friendship, during all our conversations and fun times, I fell in love.
I suppose that I could start at the beginning, but I'm not exactly sure where that is. I could start with the first day I worked with you, or the day you wrecked your truck. But to be honest, I feel like I should start with a lengthy conversation we had in the back of a very familiar beat up green truck.
As you know, with my best friend being on vacation, I didn't have anyone to hang out with because I had literally cut nearly everyone but this one friend out of my life. I didn't trust very many people, and didn't like hanging out with anyone else. Things changed the day I sat outside with you for hours and just talked. I admit to thinking you were a stuck up jerk, and I had often said so when people asked what I thought about you. Many things changed that day we talked, I learned that we had some things in common, and that you weren't as stuck up and cocky as I thought you were. I didn't fall in love with you that day, but I think I fell in love with our conversations. We can talk about anything, and I'm not afraid to say what I think. I'm not afraid of what you might think, because I know that you don't judge me. I honestly can't remember a conversation that left me feeling relieved, even happy before that one. I'm sure there are some, but defnitely not on the magnitude of this one.
That next day when I was waiting on Luna to get off work (such a great nickname isn't it?), and we sat talking, once again in that same green truck, I was actually torn between going with her or staying and talking to you. Lucky me, you came too, solving that little problem. I can't decide which moment was more fun, freaking out because of her driving, or actually going to get ice cream and such. I'm leaning towards the driving. Then you decided to announce to us and half the mall that you had to pee, so we escorted you down there, one of us holding one of your hands. Since I'm practically spilling my guts here, I'll go ahead and say that I almost didn't want to let go, and it actually felt weird when I did. I was quite confused about that little spark of emotion.
Wednesday: You weren't with us, and it was nearly disappointing. I had grown to enjoy spending time with you, something rare and awesome. I very rarely enjoyed spending immense amounts of time with any of my guy friends. Luna and I were at Pickthorn, and I was texting you, that much I remember. I also remember Luna and I found Peether, our beloved wild bird. Despite the near disappointment, I was actually kind of glad you weren't with us, because I had some thinking to do. I will honestly admit that I was developing a teeny tiny crush on you, but, as you know, I had a thing for one of our coworkers. I don't really remember the next three days, nothing spectacular happened, so they aren't very important days.
Sunday: I was going to work, and you had just gotten off I believe. I remember sitting with you in the lobby, and talking. Just talking, which was very nice. I still couldn't get over our conversations. I remember you making some smart ass comment about how a coworker was flirting with me, and I used the "I'd rather date you" statement. I was actually joking when I said it, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how true the statement was. I didn't like our coworker...I liked you. I had never met a guy who would actually sit and listen to me talk about random things for hours on end just because someone decided to let me have coffee. That shift seemed like it was the longest shift ever, especially when you showed up and were waiting on me to get off work. I know that Luna was there, and so were some other people, but I still had those little butterflies knowing that you were outside waiting for me. I felt like I was drawn to you, I wanted to move as far from you as I possibly could, but everytime I tried, you closed that distance, and everytime you moved away, I moved closer. It freaked me out. By now, I'm running around the parking lot with your motorcycle key, and to this day I still don't know if you were chasing me because I had your key, or if it was because you felt like it. It's not like I could go anywhere, you had my car keys. I remember laying down in the back parking spots, and looking at the stars that were actually visible that night. Laying there one the ground, with my head on your chest, just staring at the sky, I was happy. Beyond happy even. Kissing you that Monday morning...it was perfect. Absolutely perfect. To be honest, I don't have very many words to describe it. Despite the obsticles, it felt right, like it was meant to happen.
Fast forward to ten a.m. that Monday morning, and you're looking like crap and about to get off work. I can seriously say that I was terrified, especially when you insisted that you were driving yourself home.There was no in hell that I was letting you get on your bike when you looked like you were going to pass out at any second. I took you home, and I was afraid to leave you alone, I didn't want anything to happen to you. We carefully avoided the kiss, barely talking about it. Then...SHE brought you up to McDonald's to get your bike. And I cracked. For so long, I'd had this wall up, something to keep the emotions in and the people out. No one had ever broken through it, so I had emotions from years past pent up behind that wall. Once it was gone, everything came tumbling down, making me shake and cry. The fact that you were STILL THERE ddin't help at all. I was relieved when you left...I felt like I could breathe again, and regained my composure.
I have lost count of the days since then, but each one has been just as good as the last. You still kiss me, and hold me in your arms. I still can't breathe when you're around, but only because you take my breath away. I haven't rebuilt my wall because I know that you'll only break through it again. After our first argument, you followed me through five cities, two counties, and some very curvy roads. I think it was then that I realized that I was falling for you, which was probably why I was running away. I was terrified of this new emotion, something I had felt for people, but never like this. Throughout that whole fiasco, I was absolutely terrified that you would simply turn around and go home. I didn't want to lose you...yet I was afraid to hold onto you. I've never been afraid to hang on to something or someone, and just knowing that you would follow around the world and back again is...amazing. Comforting. I feel secure, even safe. Laying in your arms...I feel like nothing can hurt me. I hate leaving you, knowing that the real world lies just outside the edge of our little bubble. You're my best friend, and I love you. I may be going to college in the fall, but I'll always be here for you, what happens in the future doesn't matter. You promised me forever, regardless of where we end up. Here's me doing the same thing: Forever and Always. I'll never let you go, I promise.
I suppose that I could start at the beginning, but I'm not exactly sure where that is. I could start with the first day I worked with you, or the day you wrecked your truck. But to be honest, I feel like I should start with a lengthy conversation we had in the back of a very familiar beat up green truck.
As you know, with my best friend being on vacation, I didn't have anyone to hang out with because I had literally cut nearly everyone but this one friend out of my life. I didn't trust very many people, and didn't like hanging out with anyone else. Things changed the day I sat outside with you for hours and just talked. I admit to thinking you were a stuck up jerk, and I had often said so when people asked what I thought about you. Many things changed that day we talked, I learned that we had some things in common, and that you weren't as stuck up and cocky as I thought you were. I didn't fall in love with you that day, but I think I fell in love with our conversations. We can talk about anything, and I'm not afraid to say what I think. I'm not afraid of what you might think, because I know that you don't judge me. I honestly can't remember a conversation that left me feeling relieved, even happy before that one. I'm sure there are some, but defnitely not on the magnitude of this one.
That next day when I was waiting on Luna to get off work (such a great nickname isn't it?), and we sat talking, once again in that same green truck, I was actually torn between going with her or staying and talking to you. Lucky me, you came too, solving that little problem. I can't decide which moment was more fun, freaking out because of her driving, or actually going to get ice cream and such. I'm leaning towards the driving. Then you decided to announce to us and half the mall that you had to pee, so we escorted you down there, one of us holding one of your hands. Since I'm practically spilling my guts here, I'll go ahead and say that I almost didn't want to let go, and it actually felt weird when I did. I was quite confused about that little spark of emotion.
Wednesday: You weren't with us, and it was nearly disappointing. I had grown to enjoy spending time with you, something rare and awesome. I very rarely enjoyed spending immense amounts of time with any of my guy friends. Luna and I were at Pickthorn, and I was texting you, that much I remember. I also remember Luna and I found Peether, our beloved wild bird. Despite the near disappointment, I was actually kind of glad you weren't with us, because I had some thinking to do. I will honestly admit that I was developing a teeny tiny crush on you, but, as you know, I had a thing for one of our coworkers. I don't really remember the next three days, nothing spectacular happened, so they aren't very important days.
Sunday: I was going to work, and you had just gotten off I believe. I remember sitting with you in the lobby, and talking. Just talking, which was very nice. I still couldn't get over our conversations. I remember you making some smart ass comment about how a coworker was flirting with me, and I used the "I'd rather date you" statement. I was actually joking when I said it, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how true the statement was. I didn't like our coworker...I liked you. I had never met a guy who would actually sit and listen to me talk about random things for hours on end just because someone decided to let me have coffee. That shift seemed like it was the longest shift ever, especially when you showed up and were waiting on me to get off work. I know that Luna was there, and so were some other people, but I still had those little butterflies knowing that you were outside waiting for me. I felt like I was drawn to you, I wanted to move as far from you as I possibly could, but everytime I tried, you closed that distance, and everytime you moved away, I moved closer. It freaked me out. By now, I'm running around the parking lot with your motorcycle key, and to this day I still don't know if you were chasing me because I had your key, or if it was because you felt like it. It's not like I could go anywhere, you had my car keys. I remember laying down in the back parking spots, and looking at the stars that were actually visible that night. Laying there one the ground, with my head on your chest, just staring at the sky, I was happy. Beyond happy even. Kissing you that Monday morning...it was perfect. Absolutely perfect. To be honest, I don't have very many words to describe it. Despite the obsticles, it felt right, like it was meant to happen.
Fast forward to ten a.m. that Monday morning, and you're looking like crap and about to get off work. I can seriously say that I was terrified, especially when you insisted that you were driving yourself home.There was no in hell that I was letting you get on your bike when you looked like you were going to pass out at any second. I took you home, and I was afraid to leave you alone, I didn't want anything to happen to you. We carefully avoided the kiss, barely talking about it. Then...SHE brought you up to McDonald's to get your bike. And I cracked. For so long, I'd had this wall up, something to keep the emotions in and the people out. No one had ever broken through it, so I had emotions from years past pent up behind that wall. Once it was gone, everything came tumbling down, making me shake and cry. The fact that you were STILL THERE ddin't help at all. I was relieved when you left...I felt like I could breathe again, and regained my composure.
I have lost count of the days since then, but each one has been just as good as the last. You still kiss me, and hold me in your arms. I still can't breathe when you're around, but only because you take my breath away. I haven't rebuilt my wall because I know that you'll only break through it again. After our first argument, you followed me through five cities, two counties, and some very curvy roads. I think it was then that I realized that I was falling for you, which was probably why I was running away. I was terrified of this new emotion, something I had felt for people, but never like this. Throughout that whole fiasco, I was absolutely terrified that you would simply turn around and go home. I didn't want to lose you...yet I was afraid to hold onto you. I've never been afraid to hang on to something or someone, and just knowing that you would follow around the world and back again is...amazing. Comforting. I feel secure, even safe. Laying in your arms...I feel like nothing can hurt me. I hate leaving you, knowing that the real world lies just outside the edge of our little bubble. You're my best friend, and I love you. I may be going to college in the fall, but I'll always be here for you, what happens in the future doesn't matter. You promised me forever, regardless of where we end up. Here's me doing the same thing: Forever and Always. I'll never let you go, I promise.
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